Vacation Report #5

Teenagers are fascinated by "energy drinks". You know the stuff. It's like non-alcoholic beer for teenagers. At least back in the day we drank things like Mountain Dew or at worst Jolt Cola to get that sugar/caffeine buzz, products that at least had a modicum of taste, unlike the swill that pours forth from convenience stores nowadays. They all have "adult" labeling and vaguely illicit names like "Vault", "Semtex", "Red Eye", "NOS" and "Rockstar".

Unfortunately Cassandra has discovered them, after a long stint of abstaining from fizzy beverages in general due to her growing health consciousness. It's a proud moment when my daughter orders water in restaurants. But now she's backsliding with "energy drinks". And to make things worse there's chewing gum with the same sort of stuff in it! And this is what she was chewing when this was filmed at one of the tourist information stops along the long road to St. Louis:



Try to convince her it's nasty stuff. It'll go over better coming from you!


Hannah joins in the fray!

Vacation Report #4

While traveling the long, long, long and winding road to St. Louis, we occupy ourselves like anyone else. We count the number of yellow volkswagen bugs (by the bruises on my arms and legs), sing sing-along songs (like Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline) and make pom-pom & pipe-cleaner animals!

Our menagerie included a cat, a giraffe, a panther-dog, Falkor the Luckdragon from the Neverending Story, a dismembered elephant head, and a bizarre mutant black spider-dog-thing!

Next up: 1 piece of energy gum + 14-year-old girls = disaster!

Vacation Report #3

If you've ever driven down I-44 east of Tulsa then you've driven under the Biggest McDonald's Restaurant in the United States! Or did you? There's some contention concerning the reigning champion of Fast Food Conveyance. There's a newer restaurant that claims the title in Orlando, FL (of course) but many point out that the newer 25,000 square ft. facility would fit inside the 29,000 square ft. version in Vinita, OK!

Next up: Lions & Tigers & Mutant Spider-Dog-Things! Oh my!

Vacation Report #2

Our next stop along the Mother Road was Big Cabin, OK. Big Cabin was named after, well, a big cabin used by local Native Americans near a Missouri, Kansas and Texas Railway switch. But we think it was really named after the Big Cabin this Giant Indian Chief must go home to after a long day standing along the roadside. His name is Standing Brave and he guards the truck stop nearby.

At 51 feet, he's a towering figure and a perfect photo opportunity! Alas, the road is a harsh mistress and Standing Brave's pedestal is an unyielding concrete block, as Cassie can testify. In her attempt to climb up to Standing Brave's feet she ended up scraping her finger! But this is the pain we must bear as we continue our adventure East!

Next up: That's the second biggest arch we've ever seen!

Vacation Report #1

Along Oklahoma's hiways and biways, one can find unusual treasures: Native American burial mounds; desert-like sand dunes; even dinosaur tracks embedded in stone. But along Route 66 one finds the really historically important sights! Like round barns and giant cyan cetaceans!

Yes, I'm talking about the Big Blue Whale found in Catoosa, OK just east of Tulsa. It was originally a local swimming attraction built by Hugh Davis in the early 70's as a gift for his wife (a lifelong collector of all things whale-ish, blue or otherwise), along with picnic tables and Noah's Ark full of snakes and lizards and alligators, oh my!

Davis has passed on to the great Blue Whale in the sky and the park has for the most part fallen into disrepair. But The Whale is still given a fresh coat of paint from time to time by locals.

There's still a slide into the pond from The Whale's tail, but it was a little coolish to take a dip. We did find that you can climb up into it's back and look out the portholes in its side, but Melissa was suspicious of it's structural integrity!

The Ark (or what's left of it) is still there, too, but was locked away behind a fence, seemingly neglected and rotting away. What would Noah think!

Next up: There's a reason it's gotta be a Big Cabin!

Screwy In St. Louey!

This year's installment of The Great American Road Trip took us to St. Louis, MO for 5 glorious days during Spring Break! Though we had to cut the trip slightly short due to the wonderful "Spring" weather, we still managed to pack in the tourist traps! And now, through the miracle of digital technology, join us here daily as we travel east along I-44 and see the sights, hear the sounds and smell the smells... you know the ones I'm talking about, after being trapped in a van with 4 teenagers in the back seat for 12 hours!

This year we were joined by some more friends: Hannah of Cassie & Hannah: In The Closet; Donna, Trey & Angela; and our most gracious hosts and St. Louis guides Jason & Ralph!

We start reports tomorrow in our great home state of Oklahoma for a roadside pitstop at a Route 66 classic!

Vacation Report #10

As one travels the hiways and byways of this great country, one tends to see a fair share of billboards for restaurants, hotels, massage parlors and the like. Then there's that rare find, that daisy in a field of weeds, that billboard that actually catches your attention. Not necessarily due to its catchy graphic design, it's bright vibrant colors or the message it conveys, but because it's the only one touting "The Best Restrooms in the World!"... or something like that.

On I-45 between Houston and Dallas you'll find a whole string of billboards for Buc-ee's Convenience Store. Reminiscent of the repetitive Wall Drug signs of South Dakota, Buc-ee's believes in repetition and ridiculous proclamations. We had to stop to see it for ourselves.

Why so glum, chum?
We found it in Madisonville and though I can't vouch for the restrooms (you'll have to ask Melissa, our resident restroom connoisseur) the convenience store that's more than just a convenience store had a super sweet cigar indian out front, an animitronic inmate jailed by the men's room, and Buc-ee himself greets you at the door! Now that's what I call personal service!

Don't ask me what "Beaver Nuggets" are!
They've got a bakery, a coffee shop, a deli, those awesome candied pecans, peanuts & almonds, furniture made out of wild animals, and something called beaver nuggets!

So, if you ever find yourself on that lonesome highway near Madisonville, give Buc-ee a visit. He's got "The Best Restrooms in the World!"

Vacation Report #9

All good things must come to an end, it is said, and so, after all the fun in the sun, battling the turbulent tide and taking in the sights, it was finally time to head back home.

But there were a couple more sights to take in, like...

"A Tribute To Courage"
It is also said that everything's bigger in... the state that shall remain nameless. And that includes their roadside attractions.

"A Tribute To Courage" is the official title of the monumental statue of Sam Houston in Huntsville. It is touted as the largest freestanding statue of an American hero. Though if you can call a guy who beat somebody to a bloody pulp with a hickory cane on the streets of Washington, D.C., is tried and fined $500 but then skips the country to avoid paying, a hero...

But, it was a more rough and tumble time in the 19th century. And we are talking about the man who is esteemed as the epitome of all that is Tex... Whoops! Almost slipped!

Whatever your opinion of the Senator, Governor and President of this former Republic, you can't deny he makes one BIG statue!


Somebody's not smiling!


Melissa! Have some respect!

Vacation Report #8

I am conspicuously absent from most of these pictures since somebody's got to be behind the camera. So here's a couple special shots of your's truly in front of The Rainforest Cafe. They've got a super cool facade, complete with waterfall and ancient ruin temple!

Don't tell Melissa!

Vacation Report #7

The Rainforest Cafe is restaurant/attraction with a "Save the Rainforest" theme and a Disney World atmosphere complete with overpriced gift shop and less than exciting amusement park ride. Simulated lightning storms and frantic animatronic animal escapades are regularly scheduled during your meal!

The highlight of any visit to the slickest tourist trap on Seawall Blvd. (besides a visit from froggy mascot "Cha-cha") has to be their signature dessert! Order one and you'll hear it coming your way as the waitstaff yells out at the top of their lungs: "VOLCANO!"

Yes it's a Volcano, a huge mound of ice cream, fudge, chocolate, caramel and what-have-you, topped with a sizzling sparkler. Cassie ate the whole thing by herself - she's so selfish (just kidding)!

Vacation Report #6

There are generally two ways to get to an island: by bridge or by boat. Well, three: by bridge, by boat or by plane. Well, four if you want to get technical... Never mind.

Bolivar Peninsula is just East of Galveston Island and the quickest way to get to and from the thin stretch of land is to ferry across, car and all. It's quite an experience for land lubbers like us and our one real chance for dolphin sightings!

The only problem with the whole arrangement is that, there's really nothing there to see or do. It's a pretty barren wasteland with a few houses spotting the beaches along the coast. So after driving awhile and seeing nothing, one's only other choice is to turn around and take the ferry back!

A fellow feline ferry traveler
who was none too happy to be taking the trip!

Vacation Report #5

While taking in the sights of Galveston, Lissa was impressed that they had a ship named after her... wait a minute! Something's fishy here, and I don't mean that pungent aroma floating across the bay!




According to the
Galveston Historical Foundation:

ELISSA is a three-masted, iron-hulled sailing ship built in 1877 in Aberdeen, Scotland... She carries nineteen sails covering over one-quarter of an acre in surface area. From her stern to the tip of her jibboom she measures 205 feet. Her height is 99 feet, 9 inches at the main mast... But, she is much more than iron, wood and canvas...

That's right. She's an awesome cool pirate ship! Manned by the scurviest scoundrels that sailed the seven seas! Deck Hand Calico Cassie, First Mate Tim "Black Dog" Duncan, Captain One-eyed Juanita & Ship's Cook Bonny Black Barbara!
Though it may not have actually been a pirate ship, it was an awesome cool feeling to be on the deck of something very much like it. After perusing the ship from stem to stern we dined next door with the Elissa right outside the window.

Vacation Report #4

The beach was our main attraction and so we spent every morning and evening frolicking in the surf (as best we could) or playing in the sand. Cassie laid traps for unsuspecting beachcombers to fall into, but alas was foiled by the incoming tide and falling into her own traps!


I am a testament to modern day sunscreen. After three days of "fun in the sun" I did not return to the Sooner state as a lobster. And despite the red flag warnings by the lifeguards, no one was drowned or dragged out to sea. The surf was definitely a force to be contended with, though. If only any one of us knew the first thing about surfing. We had to be content with flopping about the saltwater surf in floaty rings! I swear I totally tubed one awesome wave, though, dude!

Vacation Report #3

Finally, after a long hot day in the car (how do you Houstonians survive the summer?) we arrived at Galveston Island just in time to take a sunset stroll along the beach. Despite warnings from well-meaning ne'er-do-wells, who foretold of wrecked beaches and disastrous conditions at the site of Hurricane Ike's wrath last year, the beach was in fine form. In fact the crowds this year far exceeded our previous visits!
There were definite signs of damage, from beach houses down the west side of the island missing great chunks (if not swept away altogether) to the hotel on the pier closed down in a shambles (Melissa always thought that was a bad idea)! But for the most part, hotels, restaurants and sundry businesses along Seawall Blvd. were open and thriving with tourists. And despite heavy surf (the red flag flew the entire time)the beach was teeming with people!

Vacation Report #2

Many's the time that Melissa has regaled me with stories of her and her brother playing out in the field by their house: Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Spy vs. Spy. But more often than not they were playing Army and her brother was... Audie Murphy. Sure, there may have been a time or two when I was a kid, that I'd imagine holding the front lines for some kiddy version of the Battle of the Somme, but I can't remember ever knowing enough about American history to actually portray a real war hero by name!

And in Greenville, his boyhood home, you can find a great big statue of that hero.

For those not in the know (or those who didn't grow up in Melissa's family) Audie Murphy was a real life WWII hero, the most decorated of them all, who made his main claim to fame after the war to end all wars appearing in a laundry list of combat themed flicks filmed in the 50's & 60's. The real story of his military career is heart-renching and trumps any movies he made later on in spades. There's an official site from which you can learn more here.

Since Melissa's brother was invariably Audie, who was Melissa, you might ask? An original creation named "Big Lou Lou".

Don't shoot Audie! It's me! Big Lou Lou!

Vacation Report #1

Our first major sight along the way was: Glenn Goode's Big People in Gainesville!

Once upon a time, in this wonderful land we call the U.S. of A., roadtrips were full of wondrous sights like giant jackrabbits, giant peanuts, giant rocking chairs and... giant people! The Muffler Man is a relic of a time not quite forgotten, when people wanted to sell you something. And when they wanted to sell you something they needed to get your attention. And giant people glaring down at you from the side of the road got your attention! Glenn Goode has a small sampling of old roadside statuary just East of Gainesville.

They're big. Really big.

And you can look up the former Uniroyal Gal's skirt and see her pink bikini shorts! What? I'm just sayin'!

Find out more about Muffler Men here!


Oooooo. Ahhhhhh. They're so... big.

Galveston Oh Galveston!

After a significant delay (it's a busy life) I'm finally posting our pictures from our latest edition of The Great American Road Trip! This year it was no wild meandering across the great American West nor an extended expedition into the colder climes of the Colorado Rockies nor a fun-filled family outing to Florida. This year it was a simple venture south and to the beach. Yes, Melissa revoked her previous oath never to set foot in that state that will remain nameless, and we traveled to our old vacation mainstay, the newly revived beaches of Galveston. This year our special guest vacationer was Melissa's mom, Barbara, who also happens to be my favorite mother-in-law!

It was a short holiday - but we tried to make it a memorable one. Join us as we remember - it'll be fun and exciting, like watching somebody's vacation slides! Only better! Because... they're just better!

Vacation Report Wrap Up

And that's about it, really. We dropped Ashley off in Wagoner, returned the van and made our way back home, weary but satisfied with a vacation well done.

We laughed. We cried. We got lost. We ate lotsa junk food. We saw lotsa stuff. Now you've experienced everything we experienced. Except for the long stretches in the van.

Let us know what you thought of our vacation in the comments section. And post your own vacation reports right here at Much Ado About Duncans!

Vacation Report: Day Six #2

Our summer vacation had a veritable cornucopia of Fast Food Discoveries, from the Arctic Circle and Fry Sauce in Wyoming, Utah and Idaho to Bison burgers in South Dakota. Our last meal on the road would boast one more.

Lunch time landed us in Salina, KS. A list of the quickest stops for a burger or sandwich left us wanting something different. Then we saw it. Let's try it! What was it?

Spangles! The sign said "It Just Tastes Better!" And with not only Elvis but Marilyn Monroe herself beckoning us from the windows, how could we not stop?

The decor was replete with 50's kitsch splattered all over the walls - like a bomb made from all the best stuff from your aunt Vera's attic exploded in the center of the building. The burgers are pretty good and the fries come in cups. If you find yourself in Kansas and a Spangles is nearby, give it a try. And say "Hi" to Elvis and Marilyn for us!

After ice-cream all around, it was the final drive into the great state of Oklahoma and home!

Vacation Report: Day Six #1

After Cassie and Ashley spent a night turning into prunes in the pool, we started off on our last day of vacation traveling. The day began with a look at The Great Platte River Road Archway Monument.

Apparently featured in the Jack Nicholson film About Schmidt (can't say I've seen it, though now it may end up on my Netflix list!), it straddles the highway as a monument to the Platte River Valley and Westward Expansion. What can I say, they don't have a lot to memorialize in Nebraska!

Unfortunately, we arrived too early to see anything inside (not that we had all the time to see it, what with Kansas in our way between us and home). But we took a few pics and moved on.