Published in Norman Transcript August 15, 2009 12:15 am -
Bruised dad wants slug bugs on 'Clunkers' list
Editor, The Transcript:
After seeing many articles in your fine publication and other media outlets concerning the "Clunkers for Cash" Federal program, it occurred to me that it was far lacking in its inclusiveness. Not only could it be used as a boon to the environment and the economic stability of the automotive industry, but it could help stem the tide of rising violence in our great nation. A violence that has reached the keystone of our society: The family. It has reached my own family as it may have yours. From my dearest wife to my darling daughter. I have the bruises to prove it.
I would like to amend the list of eligible cars for the above mentioned federal program to include: Volkswagen Beetles (slug-bugs or punch-buggies); Chrysler PT Cruisers (bruiser cruisers); Volkswagen Jettas (Jetta jabs); and all models manufactured by the Chevrolet Motor Company (heavy Chevys).
Most recently I would like to include any and all vehicles that are predominantly yellow in color. My wife and daughter scream out "banana" as they inflict grievous bodily harm against my already sore and bruised arms.
After adding these vehicles to the Federal program there should be new regulations involving the manufacture of these cars. If the owners of said vehicles do not avail themselves of the monetary incentive involved, their vehicles should be subject to seizure. There is a yellow Volkswagen seen near our neighborhood from time to time and I believe this should be the first vehicle to be seized under the new regulations.
Please help stop this unnecessary violence in our society by writing your Congressman or Attorney General concerning this matter.
TIM DUNCAN
Norman