Vacation Report #17

On the Friday of Spring Break we awoke to a disturbing weather report. Nothing devastating, no tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis or giant, mutant bipedal dinosaur attacks. Just your average first-day-of-Spring snow storm, that's all.

We were faced with a choice: stick to the plan of leaving Saturday morning after breakfast and face chancy-at-best road conditions - or - skip our last set of vacation sites and leave early to try and beat Snow Miser to the punch. After weighing the two possibilities, debating the merits of each and flipping several coins we finally came to a decision.


We decided to compromise. We'd do some last minute sightseeing, eat out at Incredible Pizza for dinner and leave in the late afternoon/early evening on Friday. That would put us back in Norman excrutiatingly late (or the wee early hours of Saturday morning) but the only thing we'd really miss would be miscellaneous roadside photo opportunities.

After visiting Laclede's Landing Wax Museum it was time for our last St. Louis attraction. Our resident co-host Ralph suggested we visit the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis located in the heart of the Gateway City.

Construction of the monumental structure was begun in 1907 and it wasn't completed until 1988! And it's not like they were goldbricking the entire time - well, they sort of were... The building, if you can call it simply that, is a throwback to European cathedral's of the Middle Ages. It is huge. Whether you have a spiritual bone in your body, are christian, muslim or buddhist, believe in a greater power or not, it is a beautiful and inspirational place! It's complete with golden mosaics, giant rose windows, amazing marble sculptures... and a gift shop!

The first thing you see is the narthex decorated with a golden mosaic depicting the life of Louis IX of France (St. Louis). As we entered into the nave we were greeted by the angelic voices of a children's choir that really resonated in the huge space of the church. We pretty much just wandered around from there in awe of the structure and the amazing art that filled the place. The Cathedral Basilica was a great way to finish off our visit to St. Louis!

Next up: There's no place like home!

Sole Mates!

New t-shirt design - and I think the best one yet!

Cassie & Hannah: In The Cave

Cassie & Hannah filmed a quick episode while at Meramec Caverns!

Vacation Report #16

My daughter, the mad scientist!

Madame Tussaud's is the premier museum for wax sculptures. Expect to see amazingly lifelike representations of actors, politicians and historical figures that could seemingly walk out of the displays at any moment.

Laclede's Landing Wax Museum in St. Louis, MO however is a different story! Some of the figures are laughable, some with fingers missing and most miss the mark of their intended portraiture by a St. Louis mile! Not to say it wasn't great fun to visit! This is the sort of thing we live for! Cheese in every direction and fun for the whole family (though Hannah was terrified of the Chamber of Horrors and decided to opt out of the basement with the more "scary" figures.

Cassie's most frightening moment was in front of the Nightmare On Elm Street exhibit. Another couple were trying to pass by her, making a sort of scratchy noise while squeezing between her and the wall. She pretty much freaked out, jumped a foot off the floor and paused clutching her heart ala Redd Foxx. "Elizabeth! I'm coming ta join ya!"

Providing some presidential advice.

Next up: Do these pants make my buttresses look big?

Video Killed The Radio Star!

The latest in our t-shirt design project! Go vote!

Vacation Report #15B

Despite reports of his death in 1882, in May of 1948 a man came forth and proclaimed that he was, indeed, the notorious outlaw Jesse James! He claimed to be 101 years old and to make it even more interesting, he had moved to Lawton, OK to escape justice.

That's where all the outlaws I know live.

That bastion of truth, the local newspaper The Lawton Constitution, dedicated their May 19, 1948 issue to the discovery, guaranteeing the veracity of the old man's claims! And you can purchase reproductions at Jesse's Hideout Giftshop at Meramec Caverns just like I did! Though there are still questions surrounding the death of the famed bandit, unfortunately it seems the Lawton reports were all a big hoax, perpetrated by a man named J. Frank Dalton.

Disappointing, perhaps, but Jesses's brother, Frank James (often considered the more bloodthirsty of the two), did actually live on a farm in Fletcher, OK from 1905 to 1911! One of his best friends in town? The local bank president, of course!

And this concludes your history lesson for today.

Next up: Waxing nostalgic!

Vacation Report #15

Oscar Wilde once wrote:

"Americans are certainly great hero-worshippers, and always take [their] heroes from the criminal classes."

We do like our anti-heroes: Dirty Harry, Bonnie & Clyde, ninjas, pirates and outlaws! And there were plenty of outlaws in the Old West, none more famous than Jesse James! And Missouri is Jesse James country. You can find museums, the family home, his purported gravesite (more about that later) and his hideout, Meramec Caverns!
A little less than an hour west of St. Louis, located on Rt. 66 (natch) Meramec Caverns is a 400 million year old, almost 26 mile labyrinth of meandering limestone caverns. And the shining jewel in the tourist trap tiara that is Rt. 66 roadside cheese. Mixed metaphors aside, we do like our cheese more than our anti-heroes.

The story goes that back in the James Gang's heyday, after a big job robbing yet another train, lawmen followed in hot pursuit, led by a tenacious young sheriff. They hunted the outlaws down, riding all the way back into James' home territory where he and his crew led them deep into the woods along the Meramec River where they mysteriously disappeared. The sheriff suspected the band of thieves had rode into a wide mouthed cavern and decided to wait them out. They would eventually have to leave the safety of the cave for food, supplies or at least another bank heist. The lawmen waited patiently. They waited. And waited. And waited some more. But no Jesse James.

Eventually they gave up and moved on, but it's a wonder they didn't figure out it was Jesse's secret lair, considering the entrance is lit up with a great big neon sign that spells it out for them: "Meramec Caverns: Jesse James Hideout"! At least it was when we were there. The caverns themselves were pretty awesome, and the idea that some regular Joe could stumble on something so incredible makes the Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn in all of us scream a little girl's scream of joy. Maybe it's just me.

In 1941 that regular Joe who made Meramec Caverns what it is today, Les Dill, discovered the hidden alcove that held lockboxes from the James Gang's heists and the backdoor passage they probably used to elude those lawmen all those years before. From there he found more and more passages, underground rivers, bizarre and wondrous limestone formations and a great way to make boocoos of money! He'd make Jesse proud!

The hokiness of the tour is fun, complete with other stories about Art Linkletter, Lassie and Kate Smith, arguably the hokiest part of the tour. It's the Grande Finale, as you sit in the "Theatre Room" before one of nature's wonders, a giant mass of stone draperies formed over millions of years. Majestic? Yes. One of God's magnificent creations? Absolutely. A prime opportunity for some Roadside Cheese? You bet your sweet Bippy! As we sit in the dark, Kate begins wailing "God Bless America" and the cheesiest light show displayed on one of God's great works of art begins. Imagine taking the Mona Lisa and covering her up with hot melted cheddar. Sweet, sweet cheddar.

After the tour we made the requisite visit to the gift shop with the added bonus of finding an errant cute-as-a-button bat hanging from the ceiling.

It was here that I discovered the thing that made it all make sense. The missing link between a van full of vacationing Okies and a gang of antisocial, reprobate old west outlaws. It made sense. It felt right. So I purchased it.

Next up: More on Jesse James? Really?

Vacation Report #14

After reviewing man's inhumanity to man one needs to restore one's confidence in the state of humanity. Where better to find that confidence then in the happiest place on earth? Even though it's a happiness brought on my a drunken stupor. That's right, it's the Anheuser-Busch Brewery and it's like Willy Wonka's Candy Factory if Barney Gumble, Otis Campbell and W.C. Fields were in charge. We're not drinkers in any way, shape or form, but it turned out to be a fascinating tour. And you get to see the Budweiser Clydesdales to boot.

I'm a little disappointed I didn't see any of those talking frogs, though.

Vacation Report #13

Most of our vacations tend to land on the silly side. But occasionally we throw in something educational or even significantly emotional. That would include our visit to the Holocaust Museum & Learning Center. There's not much I can say about the museum that would give it justice.
We kind of piggy-backed onto a guided tour with a local school group and then sat in on a Holocaust survivor's talk afterwards. Her story was an amazing one, a Polish Jew who went from a Polish Ghetto to Concentration Camps, losing her mother and separated from her father during the process finally ending up in Bergen-Belsen by the end of the war where she was found on the brink of death.

Hearing her story and seeing how she made it relate to the kids in the room was something I'm glad we got the chance to experience. It certainly makes something that you normally just read about in history books, watch on TV and see in museums become much more real!

Next up: Back To The Lighter Side!

Vacation Report #12

At 630 ft. the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, MO is the tallest monument in the United States, commemorating the country's Westward Expansion. It was built over the course of three years, between 1963 and 1965, by men without safety harnesses of any kind, who held on with one hand and smoked their cigarettes with the other.

We arrived at the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial just in time to get tickets later in the afternoon to go up to the observation deck of the monument since one side wasn't running that day. It takes approximately 4 minutes to get to the top via two trains of capsules that normally go up both legs of the monument, a sort of crossbreed of elevator/cable car/ferris wheel that rotates as it rises to compensate for the arched structure. And you can hear the screams of the passengers in the next car over.

We found how much two skinny little teenage girls really weigh!

After the scare of losing 3 teenage girls in an area swarming with the huddled masses we all ventured into a darkened theater, watched a 43-year-old documentary (that needs a major restoration), wandered the museum (including creepy animatronic old west dudes), visited the gift shops and ate fudge. Eventually our ticket time approached and we stood in a long line, waited some more and then finally boarded the capsule or as Melissa calls it "The Elevator of Death". It was a little claustrophobic. Our fellow travelers rode up elevator #3 while Melissa, Cassie & I stepped into #4 with two young ladies from Kentucky with matching white knuckles. Four agonizing minutes later and we were looking out the observation windows with 600 some odd feet of air beneath us!

For someone who suffers from acrophobia, the experience really wasn't all that bad. The small windows probably helped, despite being angled downward so that you can pretty much look straight down! But now we can say we've been there, we didn't fall off, it didn't fall over, and we didn't get stuck in the elevator on the way down either! I'm just glad we didn't read about this before we went. Melissa would never have gotten up if we had!

The "capsule"; Melissa at the top; the whole crew on the way down.

Next up: How 'bout a little history to go with your vacation?

Vacation Report #11

Our first major attraction to visit in the Gateway City was the City Museum! It's hard to describe the place satisfactorily. As you approach it, the school bus hanging off the side of the roof catches your attention immediately! It's a mish-mash of a museum. Think Art Museum/Ripley's Believe It Or Not/Giant Chucky Cheese Play Area with a second-hand store and an aquarium to boot! It's something that kids and adults can both enjoy, from crawling around giant hamster tubes to sliding down enormous slides to wandering through some great architectural galleries. It's very eclectic and artsy-fartsy but kid friendly (as long as they're careful!) Not only kid friendly but adult friendly, too. Donna liked the rollie slide so much she went down it 3 times!
The Aquarium has a DIY feel to it, like somebody's uncle put it together. It's very "hands-on", literally! It's just like crazy Uncle Ed to let you stick your hand in the water and let the fish swarm around it and bite your fingers and then let you pet the sharks!

We could have spent the entire day there if we hadn't gotten so worn out climbing stairs, crawling through tunnels and petting sharks! We didn't even get a chance to go outside to the amazing MonstroCity, a huge playground that includes airplane fuselages, castle turrets and giant iron slinkies you can crawl through! The City Museum is worth several vacation reports, but we're already up to #11 and we haven't gotten past Monday yet!


So... next up: Is that the second biggest McDonald's?!

Vacation Report #10

After a long day's journey across two states we finally arrived in St. Louis, the Gateway City! Donna's brother Jason was a most gracious host throughout the week, donning multiple hats as hotelier, tour guide and dinner entertainment. The house was huge! It was like staying in a Bed & Breakfast. The bedroom Melissa & I stayed in was complete with adjoining bathroom, cable television and little doorknob "Do Not Disturb" sign!

But the room that probably got the most use was the basement gameroom, complete with pool table and shuffleboard!

Jason schools Trey

in the finer art of billiards.

Lou Bear!