Oscar Wilde once wrote:
A little less than an hour west of St. Louis, located on Rt. 66 (natch) Meramec Caverns is a 400 million year old, almost 26 mile labyrinth of meandering limestone caverns. And the shining jewel in the tourist trap tiara that is Rt. 66 roadside cheese. Mixed metaphors aside, we do like our cheese more than our anti-heroes.
The story goes that back in the James Gang's heyday, after a big job robbing yet another train, lawmen followed in hot pursuit, led by a tenacious young sheriff. They hunted the outlaws down, riding all the way back into James' home territory where he and his crew led them deep into the woods along the Meramec River where they mysteriously disappeared. The sheriff suspected the band of thieves had rode into a wide mouthed cavern and decided to wait them out. They would eventually have to leave the safety of the cave for food, supplies or at least another bank heist. The lawmen waited patiently. They waited. And waited. And waited some more. But no Jesse James.
"Americans are certainly great hero-worshippers, and always take [their] heroes from the criminal classes."We do like our anti-heroes: Dirty Harry, Bonnie & Clyde, ninjas, pirates and outlaws! And there were plenty of outlaws in the Old West, none more famous than Jesse James! And Missouri is Jesse James country. You can find museums, the family home, his purported gravesite (more about that later) and his hideout, Meramec Caverns!
A little less than an hour west of St. Louis, located on Rt. 66 (natch) Meramec Caverns is a 400 million year old, almost 26 mile labyrinth of meandering limestone caverns. And the shining jewel in the tourist trap tiara that is Rt. 66 roadside cheese. Mixed metaphors aside, we do like our cheese more than our anti-heroes.
The story goes that back in the James Gang's heyday, after a big job robbing yet another train, lawmen followed in hot pursuit, led by a tenacious young sheriff. They hunted the outlaws down, riding all the way back into James' home territory where he and his crew led them deep into the woods along the Meramec River where they mysteriously disappeared. The sheriff suspected the band of thieves had rode into a wide mouthed cavern and decided to wait them out. They would eventually have to leave the safety of the cave for food, supplies or at least another bank heist. The lawmen waited patiently. They waited. And waited. And waited some more. But no Jesse James.
Eventually they gave up and moved on, but it's a wonder they didn't figure out it was Jesse's secret lair, considering the entrance is lit up with a great big neon sign that spells it out for them: "Meramec Caverns: Jesse James Hideout"! At least it was when we were there. The caverns themselves were pretty awesome, and the idea that some regular Joe could stumble on something so incredible makes the Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn in all of us scream a little girl's scream of joy. Maybe it's just me.
In 1941 that regular Joe who made Meramec Caverns what it is today, Les Dill, discovered the hidden alcove that held lockboxes from the James Gang's heists and the backdoor passage they probably used to elude those lawmen all those years before. From there he found more and more passages, underground rivers, bizarre and wondrous limestone formations and a great way to make boocoos of money! He'd make Jesse proud!
The hokiness of the tour is fun, complete with other stories about Art Linkletter, Lassie and Kate Smith, arguably the hokiest part of the tour. It's the Grande Finale, as you sit in the "Theatre Room" before one of nature's wonders, a giant mass of stone draperies formed over millions of years. Majestic? Yes. One of God's magnificent creations? Absolutely. A prime opportunity for some Roadside Cheese? You bet your sweet Bippy! As we sit in the dark, Kate begins wailing "God Bless America" and the cheesiest light show displayed on one of God's great works of art begins. Imagine taking the Mona Lisa and covering her up with hot melted cheddar. Sweet, sweet cheddar.
After the tour we made the requisite visit to the gift shop with the added bonus of finding an errant cute-as-a-button bat hanging from the ceiling.
In 1941 that regular Joe who made Meramec Caverns what it is today, Les Dill, discovered the hidden alcove that held lockboxes from the James Gang's heists and the backdoor passage they probably used to elude those lawmen all those years before. From there he found more and more passages, underground rivers, bizarre and wondrous limestone formations and a great way to make boocoos of money! He'd make Jesse proud!
The hokiness of the tour is fun, complete with other stories about Art Linkletter, Lassie and Kate Smith, arguably the hokiest part of the tour. It's the Grande Finale, as you sit in the "Theatre Room" before one of nature's wonders, a giant mass of stone draperies formed over millions of years. Majestic? Yes. One of God's magnificent creations? Absolutely. A prime opportunity for some Roadside Cheese? You bet your sweet Bippy! As we sit in the dark, Kate begins wailing "God Bless America" and the cheesiest light show displayed on one of God's great works of art begins. Imagine taking the Mona Lisa and covering her up with hot melted cheddar. Sweet, sweet cheddar.After the tour we made the requisite visit to the gift shop with the added bonus of finding an errant cute-as-a-button bat hanging from the ceiling.
It was here that I discovered the thing that made it all make sense. The missing link between a van full of vacationing Okies and a gang of antisocial, reprobate old west outlaws. It made sense. It felt right. So I purchased it.
Next up: More on Jesse James? Really?
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